Chicago.

I miss city living, especially in Chicago. This could be due to the fact that I'm fantasizing what it was like living in the city;  but I felt as though there always was an opportunity to help brighten someone's day around the corner.  There was the opportunity to assist the elderly with opening doors, assist the blind man crossing the street, people to hold open doors for...people that would hold open doors for me.

 I miss the compliments the homeless men would yell out as I would smile at them and acknowledged them, while so many people hurried by them blinded by their existence.  "Beautiful smile.  Keep smiling. God bless you."  Whenever I was having a bad day, it would easily be turned around when with the homeless. Whenever I had anything in my pocket like a piece of candy, I would give it.  I tried to refrain from giving change as I didn't want to enable possible bad behaviors.
It was something about walking among the homeless that gave me a sense of purpose.  I felt connected to them, I understood them. I didn't judge them.

I remember one time when I was riding my bike. Thinking I was a BMXer...I tried to get up on the sidewalk and my tire hit the curb I fell to the ground.  Numerous people kept walking by..some nearly over me.  And who do you think came to aid me? You guessed it..a homeless man.  He helped me up, helped me with my bike and sat next to me, gave me some purell he had in his pocket and a the few clean tissues he had and gently placed them on my hand.
The next day when I went to work, I told one of the doctors what happened and his response appalled me.  "Be careful around homeless people" was what she said.  It just bothers me the stigma that is out there.  Amongst homeless, amongst mentally ill etc.  For me, I think I have more fear being around doctors and privileged people than I do homeless.
After work, I stopped by the store and picked up napkins, some protein bars and Gatorade and brought it to my man.

After thanksgiving that same year, after I had quit my job working with 16 orthopedic surgeons, (some of them which many should fear)  I made ten plates of food and put Christmas cards in each one and wrote you are loved.  I then went among the streets of Chicago and looked for homeless people to hand them out to.  Although at first I was a bit disappointed because I couldn't find anybody, I reminded myself that this was a good thing. That this meant the homeless people were out of the cold and in warm places.  However, as I continued walking, I did find a few homeless people to give the food to. Some of the best conversations I had were with the homeless people.  Talk about enlightened.  Talk about happy.  Some of the most happy people I've met have been homeless.

Another thing I miss about city life is the idea of constantly reinventing myself.  There is a sense of freedom when living in a city compared to where I am living in now, which is in white, privileged suburbia.  I miss the diversity. I miss the different events I could be a part of.  I miss the freedom.  I miss my friends.  I miss the person I was living there...I miss me.