Where did it all go wrong?

I finally awoke after a 19 hour slumber. I came home from my Partial Hospitalization Program yesterday with my mind and body feeling extremely exhausted. I was only going to take a nap... or so I thought. I awoke once during the night to use the bathroom, but fell right back to sleep. I also awoke when my alarm went off at 8:10am so I could make it to my program, but again, fell right back to sleep. Not happening I told myself.
I'd say some of my exhaustion is attributed to getting my period; while another part of the exhaustion is caused by the brain overload of information I'm receiving in the program.  Overall, I really enjoy the program, however, I think working on yourself/bettering yourself is the hardest job of all- actually I take that back- Being a human is the hardest job of all.
Yesterday there was a discussion on life- how as children we can't wait to become independent. But as children, we fail to recognize that with independence comes responsibilities. I find it a sick cycle- I remember being a kid (and I'm sure like most other kids) I couldn't wait to be an adult- I specifically remember being 8 and counting down the years till I was 18.   Now that I'm 30, I look back and wish I was that age all over again, except of course having the knowledge I have now.
  I don't know who is more stupid/sad- the 8 year old or the 30 year old; the hopeful or the discouraged.

In the short time I've been up, I have to say I accomplished quite a lot in my world.( In the world of "normal" people they'd look at what I've accomplished and laugh). As you can see- I'm working hard on not comparing myself.
 Well- one accomplishment is that I actually got up and ate! Another accomplishment was that I called Sallie Mae to get my loans straightened out.
 Anything Sallie Mae or college related is a huge trigger for me.  I become so upset, angry, pissed off, depressed at myself for ever going to college.  I have a huge regret ever going this route to become "successful." I blame my college experience for my unhappiness for the last 12 years. Even after attempting to go to grad school 3 times, I was rejected.  It is my belief that my undergrad GPA of 3.1 is holding me back.  Sad part is that I can't change it. Even though I took 8 other classes and received all A's, none of that matters.   I know this is something I need a lot of work on- for it has taken over my life.  I have become so fearful of making a similar mistake.  I try to be a fortune teller now and ask myself how the decisions I make today are going to affect me in the future.  The truth is- I don't know.
Unfortunately, after completing the Sallie Mae task- I went straight to bed again and slept for another 4 hours.  The coping mechanisms I have learned while in Program I could not even use for my depression started to kick in and I could only use the coping mechanism of  sleeping.  I just can't wait for the day that I can look back at the whole college experience and shrug it off; or to see it as a beneficial experience rather than the worst experience of my life.

When I ask myself where did it all go wrong- I could easily say college, however, deep within me the true answer is- Being born is where it all went wrong.