One thing I really love to do is give hugs. I wish I can make hugging my career because that's something I know I'd be good at. (Career #16) I've been told by many that I give the best hugs and for anybody who wants to challenge me..I'm up for the challenge!
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I crave for human connection. Maybe I see it as a way to give love and release pain all at the same time. I'm the type that likes to give a big squeeze (bear hug). When squeezing, I just imagine squeezing out all of the pain from the person's soul and pressing love into them.
While working at the retreat center, on one particular day, a participant asked if I would like a hug; she noticed that I wasn't having the best of days. While hugging she stated to me that 20 second hugs are ideal because it's been scientifically proven to secrete serotonin. I'm not going to lie...once it passed the 5 second mark, it felt a little awkward, but by the time it hit 20 seconds, there was an amazing euphoric sensation... must have been the serotonin! So now, when I hug people, I warn them that I give long hugs!
Hugs are just awesome! It's just something about the closeness, the warmth, and the feeling of the other person's heart beating..it's the touching of the hearts. There is no right or wrong way to hug, however, if you do want extra closeness to the other person's heart and have a true "heart to heart" connection...start hugging to the right of the person. This way...your hearts touch.
While growing up, there wasn't much hugging in my family. There really wasn't much when it came to expressing emotions. My father was known for giving the worst and most painful hugs, which was why we never really received or wanted to give him hugs. He just doesn't know how to hug. He thought it was funny to dig his hands into your spine. All I have to say is: nope not funny, so not loving and so defeating the purpose of a hug. While at the psych ward this year, I had to teach my father the proper way to hug. It was during this time that I was in desperate need of comfort and I needed my father's warmth and love. So...I had to teach him how to hug properly and I had to go through the steps with him. "Spread your arms wide. Good job! Now wrap your arms around me. Nope..you don't dig into anybody's spine. Relax your hands. Good. You went from an F to an E. You are making great progress." Although the hugs were still awkward beyond belief, they weren't painful and that's really all that mattered. I had to tell my mom to practice hugging my dad so that he was well practiced when he came to visit, which was every day. As the days went by, the hugs became less awkward and his grades improved. Make no doubt about it, they were still awkward, but not as painfully awkward as it was the first time I had to give my father the instructions on how to give a proper hug. He ended up receiving an A+. Since the psych ward, however, he has reverted back to his old ways. Despite this fact, I'm blessed to have had those few days of awkward "proper" hugs from him. Now I just ask my mom for hugs and I realize where I get my great gift of hugging. It's all from my mom. Thank God I didn't learn how to hug from my dad!
The following is information from the Mind Body Green website that I would like to share.
1. The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.
2. Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.
3. Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one's serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.
4. Hugging boosts self esteem. From the time we're born our family's touch shows us that we're loved
and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from
our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The
cuddles we received while growing up remain
imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of
that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.
5.
Hugging relaxes muscles. Hugs release tension in the body. Hugs can
take away pain; they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the
soft tissues.
6. Hugs balance out the nervous
system. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug
shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and
electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous
system - parasympathetic.
7. Hugs teach us how
to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being
receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love
flows both ways.
8. Hugs are so much like meditation
and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment.
They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of
your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your
feelings and your breath.
9. The energy
exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the
relationship. It encourages empathy and understanding.
I think as our world is becoming more technological, hugs are becoming extinct. In some instances when I feel as though I don't have anybody to hug, I will go and hug a tree. It is such a grounding and releasing experience to give/receive a hug to/from mother earth.
Remember to always hug yourself first and foremost. It's important to show yourself self love. Begin and end your day hugging yourself! I'm going to start doing the same!
Give yourself a hug for reading this :)
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