Taming the wild horse (Impulsiveness) within with Distresss Tolerance

The past four days I've been in the DBT- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy program and have been really enjoying it. I feel that within the past four days of learning these skills, I've changed and all for the better.  I feel as though I am becoming more confident- (I was actually able to make a video of myself and not judge myself critically)- That's a HUGE step!  It surprises me how much I have changed in the last few days and although I believe some of it is weather related- I think a lot of it is realizing that this form of therapy has my name all over it and I have specific techniques to help change me and allow me to have a life worth living.

I hope the following information helps with whatever is going on in your life!

Not many people are aware of DBT. Although, I've mentioned it in past blogs, I figured  I'd go into more detail as to what it is.   

 DBT is mindfulness based therapy developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, who experienced a form of mental illness first hand.   The goal of DBT is to build a life worth living  which includes bearing pain skillfully.  Some people think of DBT as a suicide prevention form of therapy, but it's more than that.  DBT targets problematic behaviors that are not only impulsive, which includes suicidal ideation/suicide attempts, but also interpersonal chaos, liable emotions (mood changes), confusion about self/cognitive dysregulation.   People who tend to be emotionally unstable or hyper sensitive can really benefit from the skills used. These skills help create a wise mind- a balance between emotional and analytical thinking. It is peaceful, grounded thinking. Overall,  I'm finding the skills taught within this therapy program  to be very helpful and beneficial and want to spread the knowledge I have gained.

When looking at all of the problematic behaviors - I have all of them (surprise, surprise). I find that my confusion of self has lead to interpersonal chaos, which has lead to labile emotions, which then has caused my impulsiveness.  Like an onion, I have to work on peeling all of these layers off one by one, starting with impulsiveness, in order to get to the core, confusion about self. 

In this blog entry, I am going to go over the skills that can be used to help  "fix"/ alleviate  impulsiveness type of behavior, (where one acts quickly without thinking about the consequences of actions).  Impulsiveness is created by being in a highly emotionally charged state of mind.  The skills used to reduce contact with the emotional stimuli are called distress tolerance skills. (Due to the fact that impulsiveness can lead to crisis, these skills are also known as crisis survival skills).  Some of the skills are very similar. In DBT- repetition is key as well as P^3- which is practice, practice, practice.

Examples of Distress Tolerance Skills to decrease Impulsiveness:

One skill that can be used when you realize you are in impulsive thinking mode- is distraction.
You can distract yourself with any of  the following: (acronym is ACCEPTS- **Please note- acronyms are very popular with DBT skills as they are used as mnemonic devices **).

• Activities- doing anything from exercising to calling a friend to petting an animal  etc.- Basically doing anything that helps release endorphins and grounds you.

•  Contribution- volunteering or doing something nice for someone. 

• Comparison- I don't know what the Dr. was thinking when she added this.  I find this skill to be  the worst skill to use because it's in regards to comparing yourself to others, which I think is an awful thing to do.  The Dr. recommends watching disaster movies, or comparing  yourself to others in a similar state as you or those worst off than you.  I find that for some people this can be a trigger into further depression.  Although I respect and  appreciate the Dr for all the work she has done-  I think she was smoking crack when she added this (jk- bad judgement- My friends have just recently told me after reading this post that it does work for them...so each their own and I apologize  stating she was smoking crack...but the fact I find it funny and hopefully and humour is good- I'm going to leave it as is)   So instead...I am going to come up  with my own C and I shall call it:

•  Center yourself:-   Meditate, use grounding skills such as holding a crystal or rock, or stating objects in the room etc.

• Opposite Emotions-  Do opposite of what you are feeling when in a negative mind frame.  For instance- if you are feeling depressed, even though you don't want to do anything, you have to force yourself to do something (like go for a walk) in order to get out of the rut.Otherwise- you are just feeding into the negativity.  Don't feed the negativity!!! When I think of feeding negativity- I think of the movie Ferngully (great movie btw)  and the oil  monster- Hexxus

Hexxus went from this

To this- negative feeding is not good!!

 I loved the song Hexxus sang: Toxic love


Okay...back to the skills:

• Pushing away-  Give yourself space. Leave the situation mentally/and or physically for a short while. Allow yourself to refuse to think about the painful aspects. Imagine putting  the pain in a box on the shelf for awhile and only taking it back down  when you are less emotionally aroused/when you can allow yourself to feel the pain and ride it out..

• Thoughts- I'm not sure if I like how this is labelled-thoughts. i think a better label would be Think outside of the box: . Anyway, the examples given are count to  10, state colors in a     painting or outside, read, do a word puzzle etc.

• Sensations-  Focus on one/all of the 5 senses.  Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, Touch.

Another acronym Distress tolerance based skill to use is IMPROVE:

• Imagery- Imagine you're somewhere else.  Picture yourself in a safe place.  Sometimes using guided meditation can really help. 

• Meaning- Seeking out meaning in the suffering you are going through.  I think this may be easy for some people, but when you are a distorted thinker- the meaning you may be finding may be negative and trigger more. So...I don't like this one

• Prayer-  Repeating the serenity prayer over and over again is what I have found very helpful in the past.  Basically- saying any form of prayer. You would want to stay away from the kill me now prayer (which I've used many times).   Positive prayers will be more beneficial.

• Relaxation-  There are many relaxation techniques you can use.  I find  taking a bath or using the progressive muscle relaxation technique (PMRT) to be very relaxing.  When you are in a crisis, you tend to be very tense. With the PMRT- you intentionally tense different body parts more for 5 seconds and release and move to all different  areas of your body. 

• One thing in the moment:  With this skill- you'd want to basically focus on one thing whether it be your breath,or doing one activity. 

• Vacation- Unfortunately you can't take a vacation forever, that would be so nice, but so unrealistic ...unfortunately. Taking a short break- doing something as simple as going to the park briefly or actually going somewhere if you have the means to do so. 

• Encouragement- Being your own cheerleader.  I find this one is difficult to do on your own, so call one of your friends who are a cheerleader

One other acronym skill to use (I promise this is the last acronym for this blog) is TIP. These skills are one of my favorites. 

• Temperature: As far as temperature is concerned- cold is better, especially when dealing with a crisis because it helps to get you out of the anxious, hyper-aroused state.. I like using this skill- because whenever I think of ice- I think of all the times I put ice down someone's shirt- I've put it down people's pants in the past too.   I know that is so mean and it pisses people off- but I find it incredibly funny.  So just the thought of ice makes me laugh.  However, when in a crisis state, like I was this past Monday, I didn't find much humour while seeing it and holding it. Although, after a while of holding it, I did put it down the back of my shirt and it felt oh so good. It definitely helped me get  outside of my head.

 

• Intense Exercise-When I get in an intense emotional mind frame, I love to just sprint it out or punch the image of myself in the mirror (without hitting the mirror of course).  I find doing a bunch of pushups until I can't do them anymore also helps (even though the most I can do is 5- it still works)

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation Technique- I mentioned this one above when going over relaxation.

Other non acronym skills:

Making a pros and cons of having/not having  a crisis list is another skill that can possibly help center you.The more you concentrate on analytically thinking about the pros and cons, the more it will help you from being in a heightened emotional state.


Radical Acceptance- Letting go of fighting reality.  Don't be pushing the door if it says pull.  Overall, you want to understand what you can control and what you can't.  Sometimes using the serenity prayer helps.  Remind yourself that the only thing you can control are your thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions- basically your whole being.  Anything else is outside of your control.  Don't forget that!

Willingness vs Willfulness-
Willingness is accepting what is and doing what is effective. - YAY! 
Willfulness- is trying to fix things outside of your control- NAY

Observe breath: Focus on breathing- Use different breathing techniques such as alternative nostril breathing.  Below is a video I made- if it doesn't work, click here - hopefully you look just as sexy as I did doing it! 

Half-smile: Emotions are partially controlled by facial expressions.  Praciticing half smiling distracts you from negative emotions for many reasons.  People who half smile look ridiculous- so it is funny to kind of do a half smile or you can do what I call "The Prozac Smile"- which was kindof how I smiled at the end of the above video (as noted)...or you can look at the picture below!

Awareness exercise: Connection to the universe- Grounding- I like to stare,  hold and feel the crystal or stone and use breathing techniques. 


Alternate Rebellion- Since I like being rebellious- I like this one.  Use effective ways to rebel that is not destructive.   To me- writing/having this blog is a bit rebellious.

Other types of alternative rebellion ideas I found online are:

Give an honest response instead of a polite one- I like this one! I find this extremely hard to do, but I think it's so important to be true to yourself.  Speak out rather than staying quiet...don't be throwing terrible two temper tantrums. Dress in a counter-cultural style Challenge statements when you disagree...in a healthy manner of course Choose mediocrity rather than drama Drop out of things that are not effective Follow your passion rather than your expectation Wallow in creativity Give yourself time to play Explore Say no to people when they ask for a favor Shout or scream alone Seek your own interests

Hopefully this blog made some sense and hopefully you can find a few skills that will benefit you.

Thank you for reading! :)  Don't forget to smile!

P.S- I apologize if I have grammatical errors in this/all blogs.  I know how frustrating, and sometimes triggering it can be for people. I was not an English major and never will be one.  Please no judgement!