Words of a advice given to a friend are words I need to follow.

Giving advice was a strong point of mine prior to my illness getting the best of me...prior to me losing myself in this bitterness...aka prior to me losing my mind.  In the past I've been told by friends and acquaintances that I hold a lot of wisdom and that I give good advice.  But the funny thing is... if I were really wise- I'd be taking my own advice.  As the saying goes: The best preachers are the worst practitioners.  But I'm ready to dispute that and change it.  I want to start practicing what I preach. I know I can complain about others not walking the walk, but I'm a culprit as well. The flaws I see in others are really projections of the flaws I see myself and I am ready to stand up and fight against this.  I'm ready to walk the walk because I'm so tired of just talking the talk.  Now that I'm getting better mentally, I am determined to do so.  So...watch out world! I'm coming back...stronger than ever and wiser than ever!

The following is a snidbit from a email I wrote to a friend recently.  I realized while writing this that some of the advice given is advice I needed to hear for myself.   So, I decided to send present self this email from past self to further self improve! (Now say that 10x fast).   So here it is...letter sent to friend, but also meant for self!! Enjoy!

Hi beautiful!  

   I will never get why guys lose their charm.  It must be that whole "flatter them until you get them and then totally be a different human being" guy thing.  It's like ADD or something they have.  Get what they want, get bored and feel as though they have you.  I don't get it. I understand we change as humans..but do they have to change that drastically???
 
 Have you sat down and thought about what you really want...have you thought about where you'd like to live, what you'd like to do? Live your dream...don't live someone else's dreams.
 

You are NOT an idiot or stupid at all for making the choices you have made nor are you stupid or an idiot for holding values and beliefs!  Please don't invalidate yourself telling yourself that. You have values and beliefs and you are having self respect by making them known.  So... you are not an idiot at all for having values and beliefs!! And if there is anybody out there making you feel like an idiot/telling you you are an idiot- then get rid of them now.  Even if it's your own mind- get rid of it...it's your ego talking...don't feed into it!  

Healthy relationships are meant to nourish us and help us grow...not stunt our growth.  And don't at all feel shame or guilt for the beliefs you have...they are your core.  Don't feel shame or guilt for letting go of someone who stunts your growth...would you want your child holding on to something that stunts their growth?? I sure hope not.

 Don't ever change your values and beliefs for anyone because then you are not living the life you are meant to live. If you change your values and beliefs that means that you are living it for another person and it's time to start living your life!  When you ignore what your inner self is telling you, you will end up like how I was a few months back.  You feel broken at the fact that you cant even trust yourself for not listening to your own intuition and standing up for your values. 

I can understand the predicament you are in- it's being stuck between a rock and a hard place.  But don't look at anyone as a form of security. I felt like I did that with my marriage and then it got to the point where I didn't know if I loved my ex husband.  And it was hard b/c I felt as though he used the fact that he was financially stable and that I was not against me.  And I also questioned my love...was it him I was really in love with or the fact that he was secure...It just really messed with my mind because I became confused.  I wanted to believe it was him, but maybe it was really the idea I had of him that I loved the most.  I won't know and there is no point in analyzing it now because it's done with and that was the past...Live and focus on the present! 

I've come to the conclusion that men suck!!!! LOL-- Have you ever used a vibrator? If not...I can recommend some good ones! I'm serious!!! Forget men.. BOB (battery Operated Boyfriends) are so much better- they have no baggage, satisfy you all of the time.  Also..I think getting a boyfriend pillow does the trick as well!

Honestly, I find at my age that nobody wants me either... It's sick..but I really think  guys are fucked in the head (excuse my french) because they all want the 18 year old virgins (Okay..maybe that is distorted thinking) but I don' t know. I don't mean to bring up the whole past relationship I had- but it's like the experience I had with him and the whole incident made me sick.. I was like..wow..am I not young enough for you that you have to hit on 18 year olds???

So overall my opinion is to move to Thailand with me!!!! :)

But in all seriousness (and I am serious about Thailand), but I really think it would be beneficial if you look into creating a vision board of how you want your life to be like.  Where YOU want to live.  What YOU want to see yourself doing.  What qualities YOU like in a guy and what qualities you don't like in a guy.  For any person you meet, compare them to this list.  If they don't match up...kick them to the curb.  Don't lower your standards. I'm learning in this program that doing comparisons in this way is very helpful b/c it helps you see what matches up to your values, your wants and needs.  And if it doesn't match up, questioning if this relationship is helping make you want to be a better person or making you sour will help. If they help you..keep them...if they harm you-- cut ties!

Please keep me updated. I love you and I'm praying for you! Focus on the relationship with YOUrself!!! :)

Namaste :)



So...in my next blog..I will present my vision board and answer the questions I posed in this email.   One thing I 'd like to add to the email I sent is:when figuring out values- make them realistic...not extreme! Secondly..I realize maybe my advice about men is not the greatest advice to give with all of the distorted thinking so I just want to apologize if I offended any men with this post. Please note that I do have distorted thinking and that I am aware some of the things I said was distorted.

 Thank you for reading!!